you may have guessed by now that my eldest son is something of a challenge to raise.  in plain-speak, i’m payin for my raising.  but he’s had this ANNOYING habit for about a week that’s driving me crazy. because its all BOY.

burping

and i don’t mean, taking a drink and doing it. or showing one’s pleasure at a particularily delightful meal.  i mean swallowing air repeatedly and doing it.  he’s damn near perfected this art in a small amount of time.  and i yell. i scream. i threaten. i explain. i roll my eyes. i sigh. but it still continues.  the one constant; however, is the continuity and persistence of which it exists.

so he pulled a couple of cards. yesterday.  and he was pissed. off. at his teacher (because apparently, she doesn’t find his habit so charming). so our conversation went something like this:

me:  i warned you about doing this.  i’ve repeatedly asked you not to do it. do you understand that its rude?

cole: (shrugs) yeah == (swallows air) burp, burp, burp

me: HEAVY SIGH x 2

cole: (swallows air) burp, burp, burp, burp, burp

me: (slightly greatly increasing my volume and tone) STOP IT! THIS-IS-WHAT-I’M-TALKING-ABOUT! Its rude and not funny at all

cole: (giggle giggle giggle)

david: ooooh- cooooowle- you gonna git a spankin…

me: david, this is not your fight- go play with cars. cole, STOPIT STOPIT STOPIT!

cole: (hands in the air- very plaintively) ICAN’THELPITMOM! ICAN’T! ITJUSTHAPPENS! burp, burp, burp

me: are you telling me this is a medical condition? (hands on hips) are you saying that you’re sickly and need to visit a doctor?  is that what this is?

cole: (large eyes, round mouth) ummmmm, no.

me: are you sure? because we can see a doctor if you need to.

cole: (wonder and excitement) WOW MOM! (by the way, these words read the same upside down) I’m cured!  SEE-ITS-NOT-HAPPENING-ANYMORE! I’M-NOT-SICK-AND-DON’T-NEED-A-SHOT.

miracles happen daily at my house…