plumber, party of one

(a joyful moment from the last few weeks while i lounge on the beach)

add to the long list of talents the joy of plumbing. yes, that kind of plumbing although i usually wear my pants a bit higher.

regression back to the start of the story- my youngest came in the other day and say

mom, the sink is broked.

now usually this would strike fear in my gnarly little heart, but chico is always calling things broked these days, so i really kind of pooh-poohed him away.  not a good thing as it turns out. because the sink really was broked.

water wouldn’t drain out of the bathroom sink- it would just sit.  now i can hear some of you snickering as you’ve probably already run this route a time or two. so i asked to no one in particular:

“what’s wrong with the sink?” to which the cat yelled ‘meooooow’, the dog disappears entirely as he does when he senses danger, and both boys played the part of a deaf mute perfectly. because if they can’t hear me, then they certainly can’t answer me.

 so i retrieved my handy dandy flashlight and peered down into the murky abyss. a flash of color caught my eye. literally. i thought to myself ‘no, surely not’- then i asked yelled bellowed:

“WHAT’S been put inside the sink?”

 to which chico casually replied-

“um, i fink twayons.”

 and low and behold, after a quick call to my ace plumber- papa, to get instruction on how to take off ‘the trap’ (see, i even know the lingo now) here’s what emerged: 

twayons- count em

 now i’m known around the old homestead as the meanest mom alive.  and that’s not a title i take lightly. and when i’m feelin particularly mean, i rant. its during these times that i’m not proud of my language art skills nor my ability to string together a sentence.  but after parsing together the story from bits and pieces offered up, david started stuffing twayons in about a week ago, then cole saw him and tried to fix it by taking an emery board and trying to get them out.  this resulted in the hole you see here: 

cole says "i tried to fix it"

when all that didn’t work, they just used toddler wipes and the spongebob toothbrush to exacerbate the situation.  bottom line is that it was screwed up, leaking water at 7:30 p.m.  paul was off in jonesboro for the week, which left me with the heathen swamp chillrens to head over to the walmarts and get a part.

on the way, both boys started chattering about what they wanted needed from walmarts when the next line flew outta my body like a reflex:

neither of you is getting anything- we’re getting a plumbing trap AND THAT’S IT

silence ensued.  mean ol mom foiled their plans once again.

walmarts offered up a nice replacement part for 4.88. we headed to the checkouts only to be waylaid by the life jackets (cole needed a new one); rubbermaid container, air filters, light bulbs, and 2 of the juicy drop pop things which i’m told are all the rage.  total outlay at walmarts: 47.02 (for having such great stuff all the time at eye level.) 

ptrap and receipt

back to the kimrey casa and at 9:15 p.m. it was installed after another quick call to papa (greg, one day it will be your job to talk me through life’s little emergencies).  best line of the day belonged to my father- who somehow said the following:

mission complete

papa: what’d you say was in there?

me: CRAYONS- 7 CRAYONS!

papa: who put them there?

me: david- your sweet grandson david.

papa:  you should really tell him not to do that

ya think? my father gets the last laugh every time i call him with this stuff because i’m definitely payin for my raising…