its that time of year where the days seemingly get shorter, the leaves turn golden, and the boys’ birthdays start rolling in. it seems that while i was otherwise indisposed, my children decided to age another year- making them 8 and 5 in a few weeks. can i really still call david ‘the baby’ even though he’s far past that stage? and my eldest is almost too big to hold in my lap for any significant length of time- his bony butt cutting off the circulation in my legs.
its also the time of the year that severe melancholy strikes me- raining down on me like the rainfall of october. glimpses of life passing me by far too fast. decisions that i sometimes regret. tears fluttering just like the leaves. we’ve changed the time on our clocks, but my old body is slow to respond. these are the days that i’m desperate to be someone else- a better berit. yet, these days seem to strike cruelly at the very heart and soul of who i am.
in my sister group, we’re reading a book called looking for God by nancy ortberg. and i really like it except that its really hitting me hard. its almost like God slapping me upside the head and screaming ‘get a grip’. for your facebookers out there, its like super poke over and over and i’m trying to respond but i’m getting stuck in a moment that i can’t get out of…
and i’m trying God, i’m really really trying.
anyhoo, while i’m busy trying to figure it all out, enjoy a video from “the things”. it’s hard to hear, but they’re dancing to monday night football. pay close attention to the beginning or you’ll miss david’s interpretation of breakdancing.
Filed under: jesus, motherhood | Tagged: autumn leaves, melancholy
I LOVE that book, looking for God, because she writes down the things i chase in my head all the time. stay in it – he will keep poking — and that’s a good thing.
I totally relate to melancholy….Fall is very hard for me….my baby turns another year older (13 in 10 days) and the holidays remind me how far away I live from my family and that my children are growing up without close relationships to their grandparents and cousins…Fall also reminds me that another Iowa winter is in store…bitter cold, snow….wearing coats from now til the end of April at the earliest…..but I press on as I guess we all have to…I wish time would slow down a bit and warm weather would stay longer…but I know that God will get me through….hang in there and know that you are not alone.
yes…yes…yes.
Oh look, it’s November’s installment…
remember the adage: Build a better Berit and the world will beat a path to your door…
sometimes CB, i don’t know why i don’t block you…