STOP (spinning tires on pavement...)

at least, in high school, that’s how we referred to stop signs. all yelling gleefully from the back of somebody’s mom’s stationwagon:

“SPIN TIRES ON PAVEMENT”

looking back on the last 2 years- i’ve been helplessly spinning tires on pavement- in neutral.and working feverishly to stay in place.

it has not been without challenge. or heartbreak. or triumph.

(which i may or may not talk about)

but i’m ready to come back. come back to “therapy” and come back to my outlet. even if it is for my own personal sanity. also, i KNOW how much you all miss me.

we’ve missed a lot together – internets. actually, only the blog has missed alot. it seems that the facebook, the twitters and foursquare have kept me sufficiently connected. or as connected as i wanted to be.

the Things are good. actually, they’re great. it breaks my heart to type the next line:

Thing1 will be a 5th grader- yep, its his last year of elementary school.

i can’t talk any more about that because it makes me cry. like ugly cry. like first day of kindergarten for Thing2 ugly cry. sobbing, over the top, italian widow cryin. mainly because i want his innocence to stay intact. i’ve never wanted to freeze him more than i do right now. at age 10. this summer. because he still trusts. he believes the good guy always wins.  and before he gets jaded and pessimistic. but i slowly see the tide turning- seeing the angst we parents all dread. no more for now…

Thing2 remains a riddle, wrapped in a mystery,  inside an enigma. he is growing ‘up’ so fast that i marvel at him- without really seeing him. in my addled brain: he remains my baby, tucked in my arm, snuggled close. in reality: he’s a smelly boy with a penchant for trouble. i’ve always said that i’m the funniest person i know- and i think i’ve been superceded: by a 7 yr old with a random sense of humor and a wickedly funny grin.

Hello- Hotel Cray-Cray?  i need a single, non-smoking with a minibar, a decent view, a balcony and an internet connection.

i’m checking back in.

 

 

About these ads