I’m a MAN…

Ok. maybe not. Maybe I’m just a mom-living in fear of the next phase of Thing1’s life.

He’s been threatening us with puberty. Verbally threatening. As in “I think my voice got deeper”- which I say “ok”- I mean, really, I pick my battles. And then the next day he comes in and says ‘look at my pits- do you see anything?  Get a magnifying glass mom’. and I laugh. And I get the magnifying glass and flashlight. And I tell him there MIGHT be FUZZ.

But last Friday night, something entirely different happened at our house. And while I won’t rehash the exact conversation or events thereof (only because I know he’s already gonna need years of therapy because of my FB/Twitter feed), I am aware that he may be starting the process.

At 10. I didn’t mature at 10. Or 12. I was what you might call a late bloomer.

Which, honestly, scares the crap outta me. mostly because I know I’m not ready. And I suspect that emotionally, he isn’t either. but then again, it takes years. And its puberty. And what little I remember from some of the horrifying, catastrophic, what-i-thought-were-life-changing-events at the time actually suck.

I’ve mentioned here that I want to freeze him. Right now. At this age. Where certain beliefs in mythical gift bestowers still abound. And the world is still good. And Superman always wins. I want to protect him from the broken hearts, where minecraft is still his obsession instead of a gal along the way.

I won’t lie to him. We’ve started the conversations about puberty. He even got a little brochure and I already have the ‘books’ for him to read, because he’s a reader, like me. and he’s approaching the entire thing with a fair amount of anticipation and through a scientific lens. Because that’s who he is.

he’s talking to us. About EVERYTHING. Especially changes. And I’m so thankful for that- whilst for the first time in my natural born life I try to control my snark and sarcasm and have real, honest conversations that are truthful and delicate.

But I have to say, its taking every single ounce of willpower not to LIVE tweet or PODCAST the hi-lar-ious  conversations that are occurring. They are epic. They are award winning. THEY ARE PURE COMEDIC GOLD.

But I know I only get one chance with this kid to get this part right. or as right as I can get it. Because I’ve never been a 10 year old boy. But I vaguely remember being an angst filled, angry, hormone driven girl- and it was horrible. So I want to rise up and be the parent and ears and support he needs.

No matter how much it stabs me in the heart.


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